All cars should weigh a tonne or less

As anyone who has worked from home in the past six months will tell you, weight gain is usually horrific. The extra effort needed to move the extra fat makes the simple things more difficult and difficult things nearly impossible.

At this point, you may be wondering what is the cause of the heavy car problem. You might also wonder how they squeeze toothpaste with these perfect lines, and why Keanu Reeves doesn’t seem to have aged. While the latter is a true mystery based either on Nosferatu or an image of himself locked in an attic – and toothpaste dull and actually unsatisfying – heavy cars are a problem for the few. Almost every reason you can think of. . Feel free to consult Gordon Murray to explain the cause of this problem. Alternatively, you can just keep reading; We’ve got enough stinging to swim. So jump in! It’s … uh, hot?

You go straight along. Heavy cars require more materials to manufacture, wasting resources and undermining massive amounts of energy for their extraction and refining. Heavier cars need more power to move them – especially at the speed we require these days – which in turn require more energy to do so, be it lithium. Or the liquefied dinosaurs. Harder to stop, which means larger brakes, which require larger wheels to adjust, resulting in a ride quality usually reserved for beauty.

So heavy cars will not roll, stop, or accelerate like the lighter one without using many more complex parts than the regular Christopher Nolan movie. It requires more minerals than a six-week StarCraft session and more fuel than a cruise ship. Worse still, weight begets weight. If you add more mass, you will also need to add more reinforcements to stay stiff, which causes you to gain weight. It’s like a rock problem – adding weight means adding more weight to the fuel to offset the weight you just added, adding weight. It’s a vicious cycle, to say the least. To be more precise, it’s a vicious circle that even if you spent thousands of dollars on class obedience in a circle, you’d still be banned from the Circular Park.

So we offer you a new way to have fun: By law, all cars must weigh 1 meter or less, or else we’re charging £ 100 for each extra kilogram. We also crack down on anyone who tries to deviate from the rules by classifying their car as a truck, a minivan, or anything else. Placing them in the nearest volcano is our first idea; Perhaps we can lead it with a focus group or two before turning it into a concrete law.